'Awak', bacalaaaa.......

~sigh~

Actually, I've tried my very best avoiding myself from posting this post. Believe me, I've done my very best. But still, this fingers of mine really couldn't stop because my nerves keep giving signals and forcing this cute fingers of mine to keep typing what is necessary.So, here is the story.........

Malam tadi, aku mimpi 'dia' lagi

Padahal aku takdela fikir sgt pasal 'longing' aku ni

Tp memang aku prasan, tiap kali aku penat je, msti aku mmpi 'dia'

Semacam bagi aku satu tiupan supaya aku terus kuat utk hari esok

And hari ni, mmg betol pon..Aku bangun dgn penuh ceria sbb aku mmpi 'dia'

Mimpi tu indah sgt, sgtla berunsurkan fantasi tp di bumi nyata

Aku jumpa 'dia' lagi dlm mimpi aku

'Dia' tunjukkan aku satu buku, tp buku tu bkn yg aku nk highlight

Dalam buku tu ada byk sgt cincin silver, tp, satu pon aku xmuat

Sebabkan aku xmuat semua cincin tu, aku mcm mengeluh and sgt putus asa

Tiba2, 'dia' tanggalkan cincin yg 'dia' tgh pakai

And bg kat aku, suh aku pakai kat jari manis tgn kiri

Dia ckp,

"Awk, bertahan ye..tggu saya sekejap je lagi..Jangan putus asa tggu saya "

Aku terus bangun, muka penuh harapan

Tp, aku start konpius

Macamana 'dia' tau aku dh nk give up?

Kenapa 'dia' suruh aku tggu?

Aku patot tggu and x putus asa ke?

Tolonglah ya Allah, aku sgt2 konpius skrg

Setakat yg aku tau, tu sume mainan tidor, permainan syaitan

Tp, 'dia' kelemahan aku

Kenapa 'dia' yg muncul utk mempermainkan aku walaupun dlm mimpi?

Ke, tu mmg apa yg 'dia' harapkan?

'Awak', kalu 'awak' baca blog saya ni, 'awak' mesti tau org yg saya sntyasa mksodkan tu

'Awakla'...ye, 'Awak'...bukan org lain

Sentiasa 'Awak'

'Awak', kalu 'awak' suruh saya pegi, saya pegi

Kalu 'awak' suh saya stop, saya akan stop even setahun saya nangis

Kalu la saya boleh upload pic 'awak' kt blog saya ni, mesti penuh ngn pic 'awak'

Tp, saya tak nak 'awak' tak selesa bekawan ngan saya

Saya tak nak paksa 'awak'

Cuma, saya tak nak 'awak' bg surprise je kalu 'awak' ada org lain

Sekali je saya minta

Kali ni je, saya janji

'Awak' bgtau saya kalu 'awak' mmg dh ada yang lain supaya saya boleh terus tersenyum

Tolong ye 'awak'

She left...

Ok, this morning starts with a very bad news. My so-called step great-grandmother passed away after had been suffered for the past few weeks. I think, HE knows what's the best for her and me either cannot stand watching her dying every passing days. I can still felt her warm hands, wrinkled skins and also her accent while speaking. She always asked me "ekau ni anak sapo??. Den dh x nampak dh, mato dh kabur". Her cooking was really pretty awesome esp the nogori heritage dishes, MASAK LOMAK CILI API. Later, I can't have a sip at all since u left. Dear onyang, may u'll be place among mukminat. Last raya would be the last gathering for us and we'll embraced that lifetime. We'll miss you a lot.

xx the first lady on the right sitting on the chair with purple scarf xx

AL-FATIHAH....

FIGHTING.....

Okeh, semalam saya dengan bantuan akak2 lab tiba2 rase nk buat DONUT yg cutie since semua bahan dh ada. So, to begin with, I start with my aunt (thanx a tonnes Acu) recipe. Pung pang pung pang, okeh, semua bahan dh ready. So, kak ara start sift the flour, then aku melt the butter, cool the water and cairkan susu tepung. Even dh buat donut ni few times, tp, this is my very first time menguli guna tgn sendiri which is damn penat nk tecabot tgn. Then, dh let the doh proof for 45mins, kitorg pon start buat very typical shape of donut la kan, bulat n berlobang tgh2 tu. Kak fi buat shape, saye menggoreng n kak ara gaul dgn icing sugar (trima kaseh anda semua menolong, saye terharu bejuta-juta). Then, kitorg serve utk department2 lain gak, xnakla kedekut sensorang, agpon, BANYAK okeh...disebabkan BANYAK sgt, so, saye pon buat excuse utk melantak BANYAK zugak supaya x membazir katenye!!

Disebabkan aktiviti melantak tak hengat dunia semakin berleluasa sekarang, semlam saya pon pegi workout kt tempat besela. and my PI ckp i have to make everything DOUBLE!!!!..(padan muka kau balqis). Dengan penuh kegigihan membayangkan semula segala donut yang telah dimakan, saya berjaya la zugak meng-DOUBLE kan semua and I have to fast today. (dapatla tambah pahala kan at least)

And harini, bangun je tido, pergh, sakit gle peha den. Sabo bakis, saboooo....tula, sape suh ko melantak je minggu ni, kan dh kena. Yesterday would be the last time aku akan melantak cenggitu, sumpah rase cam x nk buat dh (yele tu, tgk2 esok mkn KFC plak). Oww, jangan2. Ingat bakis, goals anda..............

1. Si tinggi lampai nk kawen bulan 4, saya nk pkai jubah tu

2. Si kulit itam manis nk kenduri bln 7, saya nk pki baju tuuu

3. Rm 500 tu baiiii, sape nk bagi

So, tarik nafas dalam2, andddddddddd FIGHTING!!!!....

Do you even notice??

When we first met,
I really hate you cause your presence is a bit irritating

On our 2nd year,
Whenever I felt distressed, I'll went to your class and only by looking YOU were smiling, I felt calm immediately..

On our 3rd year,
I had to oppose you in our debate team and I felt sucks cause I hate opposing you cause you always had my support..

On our final year,
We even get choosen to represent the school and it was something like MIRACLE ever happened that I never ever imagined..

On our very final day,
I even sent YOU a gift which I dunno whether you still keep it or not..
I even asked YOU to wear it whenever necessary cause I thought by doing so,
I'm letting you go, but I'm not....

Then,
YOU left me for good
I never felt sad cause it is for your future
Which again I thought will have me inside
Eversince then, we only met few times


The best after school meeting was,
When I had the opportunity to celebrate YOUR big day together
I was just too nervous that I ran away
Believe me,
If I will be given another chance, I'll seize it

Now,
It is quite some time we haven't meet each other
I've been YOUR silent follower, updating your life from the tiniest matter
Searching for hints if YOU ever mention about me, but NEVER

Do YOU even notice,
I wait for YOU every single day
I'm counting years for you to come back
And now, I'm counting days to lose YOU...

GOODBYE.....

YOU

I've keep this for 9 years

Still I didn't get any hint/s

Still you didn't realize

Should I do more

or

Did it came out less

YOU

Even if it s not you

I will move on even without you

Even it will tear my heart really into pieces

But still I have to

Before I'm drench into my own tears

YOU

If it is enough, tell me

Your silence really kills me

Your absence really hurts me

But

I can tell, your presence really made my day

Seeing just only you, can make me smile the whole month

YOU

If you never looked at me even once, speaks

If you never had a crushed on me, tells

If you never waits for me, hints

Because

I dunno till when I can hold on

Waiting for someone who never looked back at me

You must know

Knowing someone like you is da best moment in my life

Loving someone cold-hearted like you, really enthusiast me

Letting you go officially from this veins is even painful from being stabs

From now on, I'll never wait anymore

Cause I believes

There's a person who knows the value of my heart

Nightmare....

::Malam itu::

Saya mimpi lagi

Mimpi yang saya xnak mimpi

Saya lagi rela mimpi kena kejar hantu beribu-ribu

Dari mimpi pasal benda tu

::Semalam::

Saya nangis lagi

Nangis atas sebab yang sama

Sebab saya penat menunggu

Saya tak tau same ade ianya berbaloi

Patotkah saya?

::Hari ini::

Saya fikir lagi

Mungkin betol apa yang kwn ckp

Mungkin sebab kwn terlalu sygkan saya

Tak nak tengok saya terluka

Berendam airmata di hari bahagia DIA

Yang saya cinta sekian lama

::Esok::

Saya harap fikiran bisa melupakan

Saya nak hati saya memaafkan

Saya akan buat nafas tidak lagi menyebut namanya

Saya mungkin akan memujuk, merajuk

Asalkan selamanya tidak mengharap

::Selamanya::

Hidup bahagia bersama insan yang dapat membahagiakan

Walaupun saya tahu bukan dengan DIA yang saya bayangkan

Bukan dengan DIA yang saya merelakan

::I wish of....::

Sorry guys I haven't updating my LITTLE pet quite a while. I've been so busy with stuffs and 'kenduri'...I'm soooo sorry (dh balqis, mcmla org nk sgt baca blog kau, dhla bosan, tah pape plak tu...T____T)..

Last week was the most HECTIC week in 2011 so far. My aunt's engagement fiest, I am her best woman. Then, pham2 je la kan. Looking at her AWESOME-A-LOT pnye hantaran, tbe2 terpikir, what will I wish for my BIG day (senyum2 gatal menulis post nie...)

Dear Hubby-to-be,

I won't burdened u with pricey jewelleries nor sky rocketing dowry. I will never ask for full-diamante-white-gold ring like this

 

or

*but, if you insist on giving, I won't hesitate ^_^*

But, among the MUST have stuffs are:

1) Iphone 4/ 4g

or da LEAST

HTC HD

2) Nikon DSLR D5000

 

3) Apple Ipad

*da WHITE one please*

ok, enough la tuh...Ala dearie hubby, I mnta 3 je must have..Okla tu kan?. You x rase burden kan?kan? (sila angguk, if x............grrrrrrrrrr~). As rewards for giving me all this, I PROMISE,I'll cook special dishes sealed with hugs n kisses EVERY SINGLE DAY just for you..(bribing la siket, kalu x, mimpi la nk dpt sume tu).

But, all this is not COMPULSARY. I'm just asking, trying out some luck.....Who knows I might hit a JACKPOT rite????...hahahahahaha~

Happy reading peeps, lotsa lovey dovey~